June 3, 2016; the date my brother had a motorcycle accident
that resulted in Traumatic Brain Injury and another reason for my decision to
move to Ohio.
Since my arrival two weeks ago, I have been in the
emergency room with my sister-in-law three times to visit my brother. Unfortunately, there is not much information
about Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and now that my brother is physically fine,
there is still the question on every one of our minds, “What happens next? Will he ever come home? What is to become of our brother, father,
husband, son, grandfather?
It was becoming more and more clear to me that the help I
could offer was very limited from my home in California, so the Universe has guided
me to be with my family. My brother is an
Army Veteran; who is also a 100% disabled Veteran. I am learning a lot about how the VA takes
care of their Vets and the red tape is staggering.
People keep asking us, “why does your brother keep ending
up in the emergency room?” My answer, “because
he is well enough to want to explore his world without the knowledge of how to
do that. When children explore their
world, they have parents who are there to love them, guide them and keep them
safe. But an adult who is trying to
understand what is happening in his world can get just as frustrated as a
3-year old trying to figure out a new toy, except in my brother’s case, he can’t
be redirected when he gets frustrated. Have
you ever tried to redirect an adult who doesn’t want to be redirected? They get annoyed, then they get angry, then
they try to get what they want through physical force. We are now at the point of trying to
understand how to help my brother, Michael, explore his world while keeping him
and those around him safe from harm.”
The doctors are attempting to do this with drugs. In my opinion, medicine can be helpful when
used correctly but when it’s used to keep a person in a docile state, the
results are heartbreaking. At least,
that’s what it felt like today when we visited Michael. When we walked into his room, he was on the
floor, on his knees, bent over his bed, with his head on the bed. He didn’t even look up at us. Last week, when we saw him in the emergency
room, we were laughing, telling jokes, watching Michael eat his dinner, then eat
my dinner, then eat his wife’s dinner.
Today, we couldn’t get Michael to feed himself, but he accepted my help
to feed him his lunch.
Is it selfish to say, “I want my brother back?”
Is it selfish to say, “I want the doctors to stop doping my
brother into a docile state?”
Is it selfish to say, “I want the VA to step up to the
plate and treat the person instead of the symptoms?”
If it’s selfish to want all of this, them I am very
selfish.
I believe everything happens for a purpose, and I believe
that one day we will know the purpose of this position every member of our
family is dealing with as a group as well as individually.
I believe; I believe with all my heart, but today my heart
is breaking.
#TraumaticBrainInjury
Nancy
Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei
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